Source: Indeed Career Development blog
Psychologist Derald W. Sue, author of “Microaggressions in Everyday Life”, defines microaggressions as, “The everyday slights, indignities, put-downs and insults that people of color, women, LGBT populations or those who are marginalized experience in their day-to-day interactions with people.” Microaggressions can be obvious or subtle, intentional or unintentional and, over time, can have lasting effects on both individuals and communities. Because microaggressions can be so prevalent and often unnoticed in everyday life, it is important to understand how they can come up in the workplace.
It’s important to underscore that microaggressions are common. In fact, they are so common that you may not notice them if they’re not directed towards you, and there’s a high possibility you’ve said or committed a microaggression at some point. Sue explains, “No one is immune from inheriting racial, gender and sexual orientation biases. Everyone, including marginalized group members, harbors biases and prejudices and can act in discriminatory and hurtful ways toward others.”
Microaggressions in the workplace can threaten the emotional security, performance, and relationships to peers of its targets. Fostering an inclusive work environment is critical for employees and businesses as research indicates that strong feelings of belonging among employees are linked to a 56% increase in job performance and 50% drop in turnover risk.
Some examples of microaggressions in the workplace may include:
- Telling a woman she’s bossy – Demeans a woman’s leadership and management skills
- Saying “you’re so articulate” to a person of color – Makes an assumption that since they’re a person of color, you didn’t expect them to be well-spoken
- Scheduling important deadlines on a religious or cultural holiday – Communicates the prioritization of American-dominant holidays (4th of July, Christmas, etc.) exclusively
- Claiming you have OCD because you’re organized – Minimizes the experience of people who struggle with OCD
- Asking questions such as, “Where are you from? No, where are you really from?” – Assumes that someone was not born in the U.S. and makes them feel like an outsider
- Calling someone he or she without knowing their preferred pronoun – Risks referring to someone in a way that incorrectly reflects their gender identity
In this article, we’ll discuss ways you can respond to microaggressions in the workplace whether you’re an ally or a person on the receiving end of one. We’ll also outline the steps you can take if you’ve committed a microaggression.
How to decide to address the microaggression
Psychologist Derald W. Sue talks about the “catch-22” of confronting microaggressions. On one hand, if you don’t confront the microaggression the outcome can lead to disappointment in yourself, regret and resentment. On the other hand, if you choose to confront the person it could lead to defensiveness, denial and additional confrontation. All this to say, the decision to address the microaggression is difficult.
- If I respond, could my physical safety be in danger?
- If I respond, will the person become defensive and will this lead to an argument?
- If I respond, how will this affect my relationship with this person (e.g., co-worker, family member, etc.)
- If I don’t respond, will I regret not saying something?
- If I don’t respond, does that convey that I accept the behavior or statement?
Choosing to address the microaggression is personal, situational and worth considering before confronting. The workplace is more formal than a gathering with family members or friends, so below are helpful tips on how to handle microaggressions in the workplace.
Addressing a microaggression directed at you
Dr. Nadal has defined the three ways of responding—passive-aggressively (making a sarcastic remark or rolling your eyes), proactively (yelling or having an emotional reaction) or assertively (calm discussion or educating). While other responses may be appropriate depending upon the situation, the assertive approach may be useful in most contexts at work.
Being the recipient of a microaggression can be emotional and stressful. It might be tempting or even feel cathartic to respond passive-aggressively or proactively, however, in the workplace, the assertive approach is likely to have the best outcome and lead to a constructive conversation. To use the assertive approach, consider the following:
Calmly address the perpetrator through the use of “I” statements** (e.g. “When you said this, I felt hurt”) and education (e.g. “This hurt me because…”)
Doing so can help the other party understand how their microaggression has affected you directly in a clear and straightforward way.
Consider taking time to collect your thoughts before addressing the individual
Contemplate whether it would be more helpful to talk to them in person or write them an email. Let the individual know what was said, how and why it hurt you. Keep in mind that saying something like, “You are racist” has the potential to make the individual defensive, while saying “What you said earlier was offensive and racially charged because…” has the opportunity to lead to a more productive conversation.
Finally, recognize the importance of self-care
After experiencing a microaggression you may consider reaching out to a trusted co-worker, a loved one or mental health professional to process the experience. Dr. Nadal explains, “In doing so, individuals may avoid accumulating negative and detrimental feelings, which may affect their mental health.”
Addressing the microaggression as an ally
Part of being an ally in the workplace is speaking up when you witness the oppression of a marginalized group. The tips for addressing the microaggression for an ally are the same as the tips above with a few variations.
First, if you do not belong to a marginalized group it may be harder for you to spot a microaggression. If you think you witnessed a microaggression but aren’t sure, you may consider talking to a trusted co-worker about the situation, especially if they were present when the comment was made.
Second, as you are not part of the group being marginalized by the comment or action the individual may not view you as having the “credit” to confront the microaggression. This is where the education piece of the assertive approach will come into play. Since the microaggression did not hurt you individually, it can be constructive to educate the individual on how the comment or action could have been racially or discriminatorily charged.
What to do if you’ve communicated a microaggression
As we mention, microaggressions are common. It’s not unlikely that you’ve committed a microaggression before and may commit one again in the future. As humans, we make mistakes, and in these moments it’s helpful to maintain a growth mindset.
If you recognize that you did or said something that could have negatively impacted a marginalized group, take responsibility for it and genuinely apologize. You may consider apologizing to the individual/s affected privately as to not draw any more attention to them in what could already be an uncomfortable situation.
There may also be times you are unaware you committed a microaggression and someone confronts you. If this is the case, try to be open to the feedback without getting defensive. If you respond to the confrontation with a statement like, “That’s not what happened. I’m not racist.” you could be making the situation worse by minimizing the individual’s experience. Instead, consider acknowledging their pain, reflecting on how your comment or action was offensive, and thanking them for bringing it to your attention. Taking the conversation seriously will allow you to grow as an inclusive coworker in turn making the workplace a more inclusive environment.